The Tragedy of the Pretty Woman

Earlier today, I found myself with a peculiar thought in my head. I was watching stand-up comedy, and I saw that one of the comedians in the line up was a very beautiful single lady. Then I thought to myself, “Wow she’s really pretty. I wonder what kind of problems she must have to still be single?”

Wow she’s really pretty. I wonder what kind of problems she must have to still be single?

I was shocked! When did I start thinking like that!? It used to be that I either didn’t have a second thought, or my second thought was of a more lewd nature: maybe something about what I would do if such a woman was mine… So to catch myself essentially passing a judgement on her character for no reason other than her being single, pretty, and older than me, was surprising.

But when I thought about it, I realised that it fell perfectly in line with everything I’ve ever said about relationship dynamics. It’s very likely that she’s been through a few traumatising relationships, and if so, then she probably has problems now; even if they weren’t inherent before.

Still the real tragedy is not that she may have problems, but that I could’ve assumed she did. It makes me wonder how many men make that assumption without realising it. Because it’s one thing to acknowledge the probability, and another to take it for granted.

Are there women out there not getting approached by decent men because we’re assuming that they must be trouble? And if so, doesn’t that mean they’re only getting approached by indecent men thus forming a vicious cycle? As if there aren’t already enough men with the “she’s out of my league” syndrome.

Quite frankly, I’m very disappointed that I had such a thought because it means that reality has started to influence my outlook; and that’s how dreams die. So I’m going to bury that thought in a deep grave where even I, will never find it again. For if I ever do, it will spell the end of beautiful women for me. God Forbid!

Damola Mabogunje

Software Engineer by day, Blogger, Poet and Author, by night, I spend my days writing everything from the convex comma, to highly complex code.

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