A Perspective on My Life

Let me tell you a story.

A long time ago, I used to think that I knew where life was taking me. I was doing well in school and had no reason to doubt that this would continue throughout my academic career. So I decided that I needed a change. I needed to focus on experiencing the world that I often missed while I was incapacitated by my illness or self-absorbed in my pursuits. And that became the defining characteristic of my Varsity education.

I studied languages I'd never known before (Chinese & Japanese). Became active in student associations (DASA & JUSA & Apostolos Ministries). Played the sports I'd always enjoyed but never been able to fully engross myself in (Mostly Table Tennis). Tried my hand at Martial Arts (Judo). And had my first tastes of reciprocal romantic love (Not to say my prior crushes were meaningless). But as it turned out, I couldn't be both a Wizkid and a Socialite. Especially when the subject I was studying (Computer Science) was completely new to me.

I learned the hard way that for me to live the kind of life ordinary people lived, I would have to sacrifice something. I also learned that I loved Table Tennis! And Languages! And I could be somebody important if I put my mind to it! But learning these lessons cost me my scholarship. By my fourth year, my parents were fully footing the bill for my expensive foreign education. I didn't think about it then, and they never brought it up. But what it must have cost my parents financially to see me complete my University Education must have been a lot. Especially when it took me an extra 3 years to graduate due to sickness.

This is the unfiltered story of my life from my perspective. I have skipped my glory days as "The Prof." or "Professor," as they used to call me then, because when I think about it, those were the days when my accolades came effortlessly. I didn't start struggling until University, and that is when some of the real life-lessons hit home.

I imagine that for average students, some of the lessons I only learnt in University came much earlier. The things you need to sacrifice to get a good grade. The discipline you need to study while your friends are playing outside. I didn't start learning those things until I was already a young man. And many of them are ongoing lessons - the type you battle with consistently.

So here are a few takeaways I want you to have from my short story:

Kids don't always understand the struggle their parents go through for them.
There is a "best time" for everything. If you miss it, that thing will still meet you in front.
Just like some girls who were sequestered by their parents, "go wild" in university, children who lack anything will look for it once they are free. I lacked freedom of experience because my body couldn't keep up. So I sought it out in college, at the expense of my health and grades.

My parents raised me well, so I didn't "go wild" in university. But I still sought the things I felt I lacked. Responsibly. Today, I look back on my days in college with a sense of satisfaction, feeling that I did everything I wanted to do. Learning that my "brains" were not all-powerful was also a good lesson. Now I know that I don't particularly value being the smartest or the best. But I do love learning... and that is what often gets me near the top.

A couple of years ago, I did an exercise with my mom to identify my core values. They came out as:

Curiosity
Creativity
Learning
Authenticity
Understanding and
Sincerity

In short, being true to myself while learning about and understanding my world, to create value for "my tribe." This article is the first time I am expressing it in one sentence.

Being true to myself while learning about and understanding my world, to create value for "my tribe."

Now I am going to bring this article to a close. Given the above information, it should be obvious that as long as I am pursuing my broad goal, I will be happy. Whether or not people call me "Prof.", or pay me millions, or give me accolades. Because what I value has nothing to do with those things.

But I will get them.

I will go on being called "Prof." for my unique way of expressing the learnings and understandings I share.
I will earn millions as I create more and more value for my tribe.
And I will get the accolades that accompany the recognition of good work.

So if you finish reading this, and think to yourself "Prof. prof. He has struck again." You would be proving my point. And if you have any other thought, perhaps about your university days, your life lessons, or your personal goals... You would be deriving my value. Yet if, after reading all of this, you say to yourself, "What an ungrateful young man! He isn't even sorry for blowing his parents money!" You should wait until the end. Because as I sometimes do, I started this article not knowing where it would take me. But now that I am at the end of it I see my destination. So:

Dear Mum, and Dad, and big brother (Deji). Thank you for giving me a University Education. Thanks to you, I was able to experience so many sides of life that I would otherwise have missed out on. I learnt all the lessons that you couldn't teach me yourselves. And I tasted all the things we were worried about. Responsibly. You folks have made my life worth living so far. And it is only now, at the young age of 38, that I can see and appreciate many of the sacrifices you made. When I get married, I'm sure it will open the door to even more gratefulness, and when I have children, more still.

Yes, I started this journey by telling you readers a story. Midway, it revealed my values and goals. Now, in conclusion, I am expressing gratitude to my family. Because they were my first "tribe." Just like your family is yours. Not every family ends up loving each other in adulthood. But ours has. And I want mine to know that I love them too. Unabashedly. Unapologetically. And Unashamedly. I pray that one day my kids will feel this way too.

Sincerely,
Your son. Your brother. Your fan.
Adedamola Ifedayo Mabogunje