Interrogating My Faith

Dear readers,
for me, this month began with two faith-based questions posed to me by a friend of mine. They were:

  1. At what point exactly, did you know that you were saved?
  2. Do you believe you are or even want to become a disciple of Christ?

Both questions, deceptively simple at first glance, caused me to think very deeply about my place in the Lord's Kingdom. I'm sure for many of you reading this, the answers came easily to mind. But for me, they took a bit of thought.

For the first one, the answer that came to my mind, was my Confirmation.
I can hear the shouts of "Olodo! Baptism ni!" already. But bear with me.

Confirmation
(in the Christian Church) the rite at which a baptized person, especially one baptized as an infant, affirms Christian belief and is admitted as a full member of the Church

And for the second question... I was stuck.

Disciple
A disciple has been shown to be someone who follows the teachings, life, and aim of another until the person becomes like the master.

I was stuck because I told myself, that being a disciple is a lot more rigorous than merely being a believer or a follower. See, I know that I am a believer and a follower. I study the bible, and aim to be Christlike. But when it comes to rigor, I know that I am lacking.

I don't approach the pursuit of Christian values with the same zeal that I imagine a disciple would: Like reading the bible everyday (I am only just starting to manage every week), Going to Church every Sunday, Debating my knowledge of the Bible with others...

Many of these things I don't do - and some, I don't even wanna do. So, does that disqualify me as a "disciple" of Christ? Perhaps so. Perhaps I just haven't reached the stage in my journey with Christ where I can claim to be "devout."

Devout
having or showing deep religious feeling or commitment.

But the real question then is: Do I have to be "devout" to be a "true Christian?" My friend, the one who originally posed these two questions to me, believes so. He believes that the word Christian is synonymous with disciple of Christ (Acts 11:26 - "The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch")

Never having held a strong opinion on the matter before, it is a novel thought that every time I call myself a Christian, I may be pronouncing myself a disciple of Christ. It throws a whole new level of seriousness on practicing my religion.

So... as I consider for myself what this new perspective means, I wonder aloud:

What does it mean to be a disciple of Christ?