It's Not About the Nail
When I stumbled upon this video, I laughed so hard that I nearly fell off my bed! It's only about 2 minutes long, but in those 2 minutes, one of the more annoying difficulties of man-woman relationships, is expressed quite humourously.
I remember my article back in 2011: Councelling Since 1987. I remember talking about this issue in detail, and claiming to be good at handling it. You just need to be patient I said. Participate, passively... little did I know, that a year later, I would be ruing the day.
As it turned out, I just hadn't been in one of those relationships yet. Those serious relationships, where you dream about marriage and kids like they're a forgone conclusion. Because that's when things changed for me. That's when the nail stopped being just her problem, and became my problem too.
You just need to be patient I said. Participate, passively...
But love changed that. It made me do things without thinking. My behaviour changed, and I didn't even notice it. Not until the day that she pointed it out to me... in frustration.
I soon realised, that somewhere along the line, just laughing away her problems, stopped. coming. naturally; just listening quietly to them, stopped. seeming. appropriate; and my desire to be helpful, had grown. beyond. control.
So the second I could see a solution to any problem she was talking about, I would offer it up; and when she refuted it (as you might expect), I would just offer up a different solution... or, like the video shows, insist that the one I had offered would solve her problem if she would just try it.
And for the life of me, I couldn't understand why that made her so upset. After all, I was just trying to help... and really, if she just tried my solution, she would have nothing to complain about right? Wrong!
Because as the video so aptly points out, her problem, was not the painfully ignored solution, but rather, the lack of an outlet before her time with me, to complain about it.
Now you would think, that by learning this fact, I would have been able to instantly change my attitude. Right ladies? But No! As I found out the hard way, the act of offering up solutions is a die-hard male instinct. I would do it unconsciously, and then suddenly realise my mistake, as the verbal assault began.
Why can't you just listen!? You always do this! Can I finish!? She would say, with increasing amounts of frustration. "Sure, sure, no problem. Go on, I'm listening..." Until sure enough, d'oh! Another instinctive solution breaks free of my lips, and makes for her ears. Boy, did I wish I could eat my words... Literally.
But you know, for those of you ladies out there currently in relationships, this isn't an issue you should get bent out of shape over. The truth is simply that men and women show care very differently.
Why can't you just listen!?
Because, I want to be your superhero, woman! The solution to all your problems! You tell me, and Daddy's got it all figured out. Got a desire? I got you! Got a need? I got you! Got a problem? I. Got. You.
Unfortunately, I just don't get you... It's sad, but this is true for all men. So the next time it feels like your man is taking a hammer to that nail, instead of easing it out, remember that he's trying to be your superman, and picture him with an "S" on his chest.
And if that doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what will! 😆