Over the last few days, weeks, and months, I have been repeatedly awestruck by the process of adult-ing. So awestruck in fact, that it has made me doubt my own adulthood, because:-
- I am awestruck when I witness my classmates get down on one knee to propose to their loves. I am awestruck by their conviction, and the preparation and fanfare involved.
- I am awestruck as my friends become parents:- People I knew from childhood are now attaining the same category my parents were in, not so long ago.
- I am awestruck by the nature of conversations now. Bills, Investments, "Terrible twos", Fatherhood, Motherhood... etc.
It's like everywhere I turn, I am struck by the manifestations of adulthood. In fact, not too long ago I tried playing video games with my younger cousin, and my skills were so rusty, it was unbelievable!
Adult-ing is staring me so hard in the face now, that it is near impossible to look away. It's like, "What are you doing man? You're not a youngun anymore! Look at your mates!" - and I look, and all I can say is "Wow, wow, wow. Congratulations! Well done!"
Even the phrases "In God's time", and "We'll see" are now well worn from overuse in my mouth. I can't argue with those who expect me to be or at least behave like more of an Adult. "Is this a sign, God?" I want to shout, but I don't because the answer is obvious.
It is a sign. A sign of the times. A sign that most people, around this age, are doing certain things - like getting married, having kids, and raising them. It's a sign that most people around this age, have interests that percolate around those subjects... But most importantly, it is a reminder that I am not among them - at least not yet.
So for now, I think I shall continue to be wowed, and awestruck, as I tread what seems to be the path less trodden. The delayed identification of a life partner; The rocky hills of mastering responsibility; and the silent pleas, wondering when I will get it all right.
Bye for now.
From an Awestruck Bachelor